The past few months have not been easy ones for me. The transition with the new, somewhat fussy baby has been harder than I anticipated. However, I'm learning to rest in God's grace for each day! I read this verse a few weeks ago and it has blessed me and lifted my heart! "And God is able to make
all grace abound toward you, that you,
always having
all sufficiency in
all things, may have an
abundance for
every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8 What a beautiful declaration! God is able to give me every grace I need for every circumstance that I face so that I can excel in all things! His grace is truly sufficient! I am learning to rest in Him.
The following is something I wrote in my journal on Jan 11. It summarizes some of what has been going on in my heart.
"I woke up a little frustrated yesterday morning. The baby has not been sleeping very well and I was beginning to complain in my spirit and get grumpy before I even got out of bed. It seems like many of the other kids are at difficult places and that makes each day so challenging. So as I say up and nursed the baby yesterday morning, I cried out to God, saying 'Lord, I don't want to hate this life. I don't want to go through the day wishing for something different.' I just talked to my Father, the LIVING God, about being tired and this season of my life being hard. And I said yes to Him and His ways. I cried out for His work in my, for His joy to sustain me, to be content in the 'now.'
And a beautiful thing happened! I didn't find myself frustrated throughout the day. Not at potty-training accidents, not at 4 year old tantrums, not at rowdy, cooped up boys. Even at bedtime (with David gone all day), I was peaceful and content. Amazing! God is my help. And he saw my victory! The victory of longing for his ways, choosing to lean on Him instead of wallowing in self-pity or gritting my teeth in self-reliance. The taste of victory is sweet! And I want it again and again. Joy in each moment. His Spirit instead of my flesh!"
