"God, I look to you. I won't be overwhelmed. Give me vision to see things like you do. God, I look to you. You're where my help comes from. Give me wisdom, for you know just what to do... Hallelujah, Our God reigns..."
After a slightly bumpy start to the day, and after a difficult few days of parenting, this is how we started our school day! Usually, after breakfast and the usual too many reminders to get chores done and stop rough-housing, we gather in the living room for "focus time." Focus time has shifted with the seasons of our family's life, but the main point is to look first to Jesus, before any other study is done. This year we have been slowly walking through Mark's Gospel, as well as studying and memorizing Ephesians 6 (with our homeschool community). But this morning, David read to us from his newest devotion book, and the theme was consistent with some other things I felt God has been speaking to us. So we put on the above song and just gave God a few minutes of our attention. It was so good for my soul! And those words were just what I needed! God, I look to you! You reign in complete control, seeing all, a very present help! So I don't need to be overwhelmed. My help comes from you! Hallelujah! God, you reign! Over this world, my heart, my home, family.
The parenting part was still hard, especially with one in particular. But God, in His great faithfulness, when we ask, he gives! And this week, I have been asking for strategy, wisdom with this kid. And today, I think I got some. For this, I am thankful, though I am bracing myself for the difficulty of new disciplines, both for myself and for this one. This one, who one minute is so sweet, thoughtful and helpful one minute, and angry, rude, and apathetic the next stretches me, breaks me, exasperates me, and causes me to fall at the merciful feet of my God and this child's God!
But all day long, as I help and watch my second born prepare for a trip to Ecuador, my heart has spontaneously rejoiced in God! Oh, He is so faithful and kind! My oldest girls are and are becoming some of the best young ladies I know. I could gush about them for pages! But I will not, for the reader's sake. Rachel, in her first year at University of Louisville, is excelling. She is rocking her school work, which I never doubted she would. She is driven, focused, overly so on most days! But what thrills my heart more than anything, is that as she flys on her own wings, she is doing so with her heart, mind, and will fixed on Jesus! She is finding Him faithful personally; She is exploring His great glory and goodness; She is searching for heavenly treasure! And she calls me! She talks to me. We are friends. And Abby? This time last year, she was so, so broken and angry. Her sweet friend died was too young, and it crushed her. And this mama watched, heart breaking, praying! And in the last several months, I have seen a resurrection! She is walking out healing with Jesus. She is alive again. And my tears flow, and my heart sings!
I am sure I did some right things as I parented them. I prayed. A lot! And that is the success! I also made lots of mistakes! I didn't know what in the world I was doing with these sweet souls. I was learning to love Jesus and they came along with me. And miraculously, God's faithfulness makes up for our lack. And He is so, so kind! How my heart rejoices!
So, as I wrestle through hard days with the younger kids, I look at what God is doing around me! And it gives me so much hope and confidence! "God, I look to you. I won't be overwhelmed! Given me vision to see things like you do!" Amen.
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